Response - " How to Have 17 Children and Still Love Jesus" - Kate Dixon 2007

http://bitchmagazine.org/article/multiply-and-conquer

Of all the statements in this article that caught my eye, and believe me, there were many, the one that struck me the most was a quote by Stephanie Coontz.

"This movement gets attention today because we've altered gender roles more in the past 30 years than we did in the previous 3,000 years. As a result, the Quiverfull adherents' absolute certainty about what they're doing strikes a chord, even among people who would never consider living that way."

This quote caught my eye because it did strike a chord. In today's crazy hectic world, where any one can take on any role we can't help but ask "Where do I fit in?"

I find that the overload of opportunities and choices leaves many people staring at a blank page. Where do you even start?

During discussions with friends there have been two key observations that appear.

For Women (observed from women of my generation 18-34)

"What path do I take?"

Many of us were little girls in the 1980's. I find this to be the first decade where pop culture prominently displayed women in successful and powerful careers traditionally held by men. Our moms, many of whom were single, or divorced mom's, were raising a family during this transition. I'd call them the first "supermoms"

Feminism has opened many doors and windows for many women, but with that blessing comes a curse. Because the doors are open there is pressure to go through them and a culture has developed around the "Super Mom"

This women can (apparently) commute to a stressful, full time job, be successful at her job, raise 3 well adjusted kids, keep her husband sexually satisfied, and still have time to bake cookies.

Lets be serious here, we all know that woman doesn't exist. The truth is, many women have a choice to make, have a family or have a career. In my experience the respect for a stay at home Mom has not yet reached the same level of respect for a career woman. It seems as though the people still believe that being a mom isn't "real" work because it doesn't generate income and doesn't' contribute to the economy. Who decided that a paycheck proves that someone is working, or even more absurd, that it proves how hard someone worked?

My personal (and undoubtedly biased) point of view on this is pretty cut and dry. People who have more respect for the working woman than than the stay at home mom are the same people who can only process the world in terms of the tangible, the people who only perceive the world in terms of possessions, paychecks and product.

I call them the victims and the perpetrators of the "Culture of Conspicuous Consumption".

Gender roles may have been altered but the rest of the world hasn't had time to catch up. Thereare still few circumstances where having a career can co-exist harmoniously with raising a family.

So now the pressure comes from both sides. On one side we hear "the doors are open walk through, walk tall and take on the world " and on the other we here "be a mother, be proud to be a mother, take on the world".

It's a confusing message which leaves many women my age floundering for a balance.

I find the Quiverfull movement to be a natural (though very extreme) response. Times of transition leave most people grasping for certainty. A movement like Quiverfull offers unwavering certainty.

For Men (observed in men 18-34)

Nearly every conversation I've had with men on this topic ultimately leads to a single questions. I heard it mostly succinctly from a conversation with John Jack

"What's left [for me]?"

In a world country and culture where women can do anything men can do, what does it mean to be a man?

Response to this article by John Jack on the gender struggle for men to follow